In 2009 I had tickets to see the Yankees in their brand new ballpark. It wasn't just any game; it was a Sunday afternoon game, August 9, against the Red Sox, the last of a four-game series which The Yankees swept. Following this series, Boston continued to sink while New York eclipsed a hundred wins on its way to its 27th World Series championship!
Only, I didn't go. While I was driving to New York, my brother called me. "What time does your ticket say?" he asked. "One o'clock. Why?" I asked, knowing for sure that bad news was to follow. He told me that he had just seen a commercial for ESPN's Sunday Night Game of the Week. The match-up was between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox. The date was August 9. They changed the time! My plan was to go to the game, drive back to Pittsburgh, and be at work Monday morning, but with the time change, that wasn't possible. I posted my tickets to Craigslist, which was one of thousands of posts for this game from fans who had been similarly screwed. I met a couple of guys in front of Madison Square Garden - the sight of the first WrestleMania, which I attended - and sold them the tickets.
Thankfully, pro wrestling has never operated this way. The time on your ticket is the time the show starts. The matches may not start right away. A wrestler may show up late or not at all. The crew may be behind in putting the ring together. But a card won't get pushed back seven hours to appease home viewership. In pro wrestling, at least the ticket holder is still king.
Furthermore, it seems there was a time when wrestling promotions didn't have to answer to anyone or anything, save for the governing body of that organization and perhaps any unwritten rules about territory borders. And the WWF, perhaps more than any other organization since it often was not part of the NWA, was free to do just about anything. If the WWF answered to other entities - athletic commissions, television stations, shareholders, or even politicians - we fans never knew it. We tuned in to see hard-hitting matches and provocative story lines. Let the rest of the world be held to the boundaries of political correctness.
The Iron Sheik spoke Farsi and Arabic in his promos, waved the Iranian flag, and coughed up a loogie at the mere mention of the United States. We were less than three years removed from the Iranian Hostage Crisis when the Sheik stretched Bob Backlund into a manager's stoppage and promised to take the WWF Heavyweight Title belt back to Iran and present it to Ayatollah Khomeini. Despite the real-life political turmoil, Sheik continued to bust open Sergeant Slaughter's forehead in arenas and venues around the country, even mercilessly biting the Sarge's bleeding wounds. Removing his Shemagh head scarf and choking Slaughter was also not out of the realm of possible brutality.
As the Cold War teetered on the brink of nuclear conflict, a Communist Russian told Vince McMahon on TNT that American athletes were lazy and drank beer while Russian athletes trained hard. That was the reason the Russians were far superior to the Americans. Ayatollah Blassie had brought in Nikolai Volkoff to partner with the Iron Sheik, and by the end of the segment on TNT, the two foreign fanatics had taken off their shirts, flexed, and even taken a few swings at each other, just to show us they really meant business. They displayed great chemistry in the ring, both utilizing take-downs and submissions but with Sheik employing more finesse in his moves and Volkoff using brute strength to gain his advantages. They won the WWF Tag Team Championship by defeating two of America's truest and proudest representations, Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo, at WrestleMania I in Madison Square Garden (attended by yours truly).
I had heard of Muhammad Hassan, even though I wasn't watching any wrestling at that time. I tuned in to see him on Raw. His entrance music was unlike any other wrestler's theme. He screamed at the fans about their lack of acceptance of people like him. He talked about American aggression in Middle Eastern countries. He attacked the U.S. Armed Forces. He brought up 9/11. Damn! This guy was serious! I thought about my parents, Italian immigrants, who on occasion had been made to feel like outsiders despite being Americans. Some of Hassan's words hit home. Other parts of his diatribe made me uncomfortable, which, to a certain degree, is precisely what an artistic performance should do.
On July 7, 2005, the Undertaker destroyed Daivari, Hassan's sacrificial lamb, on an episode of SmackDown. About a half dozen guys in black masks and combat boots rushed the ring and assaulted the Undertaker after the match. Hassan, just the like the Iron Sheik twenty years earlier, looked to the heavens before applying the Camel Clutch on his victim. The men in black masks lifted Daivari over their heads and carried his limp body to the locker room.
This episode of SmackDown aired the same day as terrorist attacks in London. WWE's decisions following these incidents effectively ended Hassan's wrestling career.
I have my opinions on whether or not WWE should have abandoned or continued this story line. But this story is in the past. The reason I haven't closely followed any WWE television in years and why the other Can Crushers skim five hours of television in 90 minutes is because there is little to nothing that captivates us on Raw or SmackDown. WWE takes no risks in its stories.
I'm not suggesting we have to go back to the days when any wrestler not born in the good ole U.S. of A was a villain. I am suggesting that the WWE is out of touch with current events and especially with their fans. I have said several times on the Can Crushers Wrestling Podcast that WWE does not have its finger on current events or on the pulse of the wrestling fan.
If we look to their competition we see one of the industry's most despised heels running a campaign to be our champion. He blows a gasket if a poster in his office isn't hanging just so, he has someone in charge of putting gum in his mouth, and he makes passive aggressive sexist comments to the woman on his staff. Despite the team working hard to convey his message and promote his brand, MJF is never appreciative, instead choosing to chide his help and even using force by slamming a team member against the wall for not staying out of his shot.
There's a quiet young man who's viewed by some of his peers to be a lazy punk kid because he keeps his hands in pockets, wears torn denim and shades, and moves at a snail's pace. Chris Jericho sees no future for this loser beyond serving up lattes for lousy tips, but when we get to really know this kid, we see that he's not only a brilliant athlete, but he also has strong convictions about important issues. Orange Cassidy may not be as loud as Chris Jericho or MJF, but his voice speaks no less clearly to those who need to hear it.
Cassidy's Best Friends arrived in Trent's mom's van. You can't blame Chuck or Trent for what happened next. They were good boys who acted responsibly, but a couple of vicious thugs vandalized the vehicle! Trent has since promised that when he and Chuck get their hands on Santana and Ortiz again, the Inner Circle members will apologize to Trent's mom over speaker phone!
And what about our beloved International Wrestling Cartel? The Tea Sipping Bitches spread nasty rumors about other wrestlers and staff. They whisper in each other's ears during their matches, gossiping about their opponents, and then point and giggle like the conniving, instigating brats that they are. The Culmination, with their body piercings, paint-smudged faces, and torn black jeans may not have been taken seriously initially, but now that they are in possession of the Reset Button, all champions are on high alert as the Culmination may cash in a title shot at any time! And would those Tea Sipping Bitches ever let these goth, freak social outcasts sit at their lunch table? Ew. Gross. As if.
WWE has been wandering aimlessly for years. Even if a story or program is somewhat interesting, it has little or no connection to anything beyond its Universe. Whether the company is answering to Vince's ego or shareholders or television stations, it's clear it no longer answers to us.
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